our crazy day!

it never fails; pete leaves and things fall apart around here. or so it seems...

#1 hmmm?
yesterday about 4pm i noticed digger was gone. thought nothing of it at the time as he regularly wonders freely about our neighborhood.

#2 HMMMMMM?
no calls all day from pete...who calls very regularly while traveling. not even a call to tell the kids good night! sort of concerned about him but sort of irritated.

#3 huh?
i receive an email from heather stating she had tried to call me several times during the day and the phone just rang busy. figured one of the kids had been playing with the phones and went to check them all. was anticipating an easy remedy.

#4 eeekkkkk!

all the phones were resting comfortably in their cradles. no dial tone. call bellsouth only to find that our service did not cover servicing problems. now that is a new one. was told they'd have someone out by 6PM the next day to fix. having JUST watched the zodiac killer i am starting to freak myself out. thinking that someone had CUT my phone lines and stole my dog with terrible intentions of coming after ME next. trying desperately to throw that thought to the back of my brain and stay focused...

#5 uuugghh:

6PM, dinner is over and still no digger. the kids and i spend an hour outside calling for him. followed by 2o minutes in the car, driving around; calling, looking and leaving a trail of dog treats behind (kate's idea). as we come inside i check the phone int he kitchen...still no dial tone. growing even more concerned now. if someone had found digger and was trying to call us - they would not be able to get through. da-n phones!

#4 uugghh - errrrrrr:

the kids are exhausted and crabby. i quickly bath them, cover kate from head to toe in poison ivy potion, read books, and have them both down by 730. 7:45PM kate comes downstairs crying because of the itching. we re-apply. 930PM kates come down stairs crying-because of the itching, we re-apply. 11PM kate comes downstairs crying - because of the itching, we re-apply. 1230AM kate comes downstairs crying hysterically --she is delirious by this time! i want to cry but i don't. i shut down my computer and carry her up to bed. she falls asleep before i lay her in MY bed (note: another mistake).

#6 sniffle-sniffle:

i go back downstairs to call for digger one last time before turning in. i know that i should brush my teeth and wash my face but i don't. i am too tired. i check all the doors. making sure that the locks are engaged and once again i start thinking those terrible thoughts. that stupid move! why did i watch that horrible movie? i a feeling almost certain now that someone TOOK Digger, CUT our phone lines and is just waiting for the house to fall dark so they can make their move. i intentionally leave a couple of lights on downstairs and i crawl in bed with kate. still is the clothes i wore all day - nasty breath and filthy face. i take a deep breath and hope that sleep will follow. i begin to cry.

#7 scrath-scratch-scratch:

it is 2am and kate is scratching herself. it wakes me. i am concerned that she is going to hurt herself and the poison ivy will continue to spread. i wake her and ask her to stop scratching. she requests more cream. i apply...

#8 SCRATH-SCRATH-SCRATH:

i hear it again. it wakes me completely. her nails scratching at her thighs. i remember we have an ace bandage and i go downstairs to try and find it. it is found. i take a quick glace out the front door - hoping to see digger but i don't. i head back upstairs and wrap up the leg that she keeps scratching. she needs water - i go downstairs and get her water. she is asleep before i get back upstairs. i lay down - i am tired - exhausted. i think i hear someone int he house...i begin to sweat. i am panicing...i realize it is just the air conditioning. i begin to think about pete. i wonder what he is doing. i wonder if he is sleeping well. i wonder where digger is. i wish i could go out and look for him - afraid that he is laying in the forest hurt - wanting to come home but he can't. i am sad! very sad at the thought of not seeing him again. thinking about him as a puppy and how terrible he was. i don't remember anything else - i must have fallen asleep...

#9 SCRAAATTCH - SCRAAATTCH -SCRAAATCH:

kate is scratching. it wakes me again. 4AM -- i realize that i have to get up in one hour. i raise my voice at her - i tell her she HAS TO STOP scratching - like she get's it.??!?!? i feel awful! like a terrible person. she is miserable and i lose my patience with her. i apply more itch cream and get a cold cloth for her forehead. i tell her how sorry i am and kiss her all over, forgetting for a moment that she is covered in posin ivy and itch relief cream. i softly rub her head until she falls back to sleep. i glance over at the alarm clock. it is 445 and i feel sick at the thought of having to get up shortly. i fall asleep feeling certain digger will be home when the sun comes up.

#10 BUZZZZZZZZZZZ:

it is 530am. my alarm goes off. i reach for it quickly. i DON'T want it to wake kate. i hear trey squawking. i try and sneak out of bed. kate sits up. is it time to get up? i assure her that it isn't and that she needs to go back to sleep. i tip-toe downstairs. trey is calling me by name - at the top of his lungs. i race to the front door SURE that digger will be there. he is not. i feel nauseous. i am exhausted. i start my coffee and hear kate coming downstairs. "i itch" she says. trey is screaming and can hear us downstairs. i ask her to be patient as she is scratching herself feverishly and I run upstairs to grab trey. he asks for daddy. i remind him that daddy is on a trip. he begins to cry. kate is crying. i want to cry...but i can't - i am out of gas!